Maximizing Memory Power: Making Sure You Never Forget Good Ol' What's His Name

You are at a business function networking like crazy, meeting lots of new people helpful for your business. One in particular you want to remember. You say his name over and over in your head until you get the chance to write it down. But by the time you've found the pencil you need, it's -- gone! And so is the person you want to keep track of! Your faulty memory has lost another potentially useful business contact.

You're irked, frustrated, embarrassed. But having been through all this lots and lots of times in the past, you now are used to it. "I'm just bad with names," you rationalize, shrugging off this incident as you have dozens before, unwilling to face the fact that your faulty memory is costing you big. The real question is: "Am I doomed to this kind of irksome forgetfulness forever?"

No, says the author of a six-cassette tape program on remembering names and faces. The truth is, you don't have a system for training your memory and maximizing your memory's power. Now, however, you can begin to make better use of your memory and avoid the "in one ear, out the other" syndrome which has probably characterized your adult life. If this is you, pay particular attention to Bob Burg's "On Your Way To Remembering Names And Faces."

The Problem

Burg's system, recommended by the Editor's Choice section of Success magazine, combines right to the point information with his entertaining style of teaching. It isn't the usual memory course many have experienced and given upon before seeing themselves improve. I particularly like it because it is succinct and manageable, especially designed for people who need to manage their memories better in business situations.

His system focuses on three simple concepts which have been explained in other memory books and tapes, yet Burg's way of getting through to the student is refreshingly different from others. He prides himself on being a "slow natural learner," thus an effective teacher.

A Brief Explanation

Observation is simply original awareness. According to Burg, "We often blame our 'poor memory' for not knowing a person's name five minutes, or even five seconds, after we meet them, when in truth, we never actually caught their name in the first place. Why? Maybe we were thinking of the next clever thing we were about to say, or maybe that person had an intimidating name and we were so sure we'd forget it anyway that we didn't even bother to try." Burg adds,"We must pay attention and observe the name in the first place." Association is simply the joining together of two items: one item we already know with another we want to remember.

According to Burg, "In the case of the names and faces, the face is what we already know, the name is what we want to remember. After all, we might look at a person and say, 'Y'know, I remember your face but can't remember your name,' but we never look at that person and say, 'Y'know, I remember your name, but I can't remember your face." Imagination is simply taking what you've observed and associated and using your wildest imagination ("also a learned skill," according to Burg) locking the whole thing into your "mental filing cabinet." This is all so sensible, you're going to kick yourself for not implementing this system years ago. Let's take a common problem like forgetting names and see how this system work.

Back To Networking Like Crazy

This is obviously a contact I want to remember! Here's how. Observe Burg is right. Most of us never get the name in the first place. Why? We're too busy being self conscious. "Wow," you might be thinking."This guy's important. I hope I look okay.

Hope my teeth are brushed." You name it. In other words, during the average introduction you are focusing far more on yourself than on the person you're meeting.

The first rule for successfully training your memory is to focus exclusively on the new information as you are getting it, to make sure you get it. If you're the kind of person who constantly worries about how you look, smell, etc., check yourself out before you meet any new people. Otherwise, your worry will overwhelm your ability to concentrate. And without concentration there can be no memory.

Next, repeat the name. "Nice to meet you, Dane Carruthers." Note If you're a nice person, you'll realize the person meeting you is also "bad with names" and you'll help him by repeating your own at the same time. "I'm Jeffrey Lant." Next, discuss the name. If the name is unusual, difficult to pronounce, obviously foreign ask the person about it. Your objective is to familiarize yourself with this name and that means gathering more information about it. Sinply hearing the name once won't do. If it's a name you've never heard before say, "Lant.

That's an unusual name. How do you spell it? Is it German or what?" Most people will be perfectly happy to begin a conversation about their favorite subject - their own name. Use small talk to fix the name in your memory. If you don't begin a conversation by talking about the person's name, by all means don't launch into a conversation that immediately makes other demands on your memory. Face it. Your memory can only absorb so much so quickly. Make it easy by easing into a sequence that demands complete memory involvement. What this means in practice is to begin conversations by asking about subjects that you don't have to remember, like the weather. While asking these questions, repeat the name to yourself until you've got it fixed in your mind.

Take a personal snapshot of the person whose name you want to remember. Pay close attention to how the person looks, what he is wearing, his total mien. Then fix the name to the complete picture. Learn Only A Few Names At Once

This system takes time, of course. It always will. As a result, you can only learn a few names at once. Personally, I make it a point when going to a business function to meet no more than 5 people, but to spend sufficient time with them until I have the facts I need -- not just limited to their names -- to fix them forever in my contact bank. This has always proven effective for me, and I recommend it.

Because your memory needs time to function, give it all the help you can. Start by arriving early at functions where you'll be meeting new people. It is easier to concentrate on people when there are fewer distractions and when you have relative leisure.

Associate

Use Your Imagination!

1) Exaggeration of size. Seeing something as bigger than it actually is will help you remember it. Concentrate on Ms. Gold's eyebrows and see a HUGE GOLD NUGGET there.

2) Exaggeration of numbers. Don't just think of one of the thing... think of hundreds or thousands. Thus, see yourself plucking thousands of gold nuggets out of Ms. Gold's eyebrows.

3) Physical action... like pain. Think how much it would hurt to take those huge gold nuggets out of Ms. Gold's eyebrows.

4) Substitution. Put the visual object in place of the outstanding or prominent facial feature. Think of Ms. Gold's eyebrows as nuggets... not eyebrows.

5) Star in your own show. Put yourself into the picture by making sure you are the one in the association. See yourself plucking out those nuggets. Burg's Hint: combine as many of these techniques as possible for each association.

Now before moving on to the next person (which usually happens too quickly and hence makes it difficult for you to remember):

OBSERVE the outstanding or prominent facial feature again. ASSOCIATE the name with that outstanding feature. IMAGINE by using the techniques just suggested. Now you should really have the name!

It Works With All Names... No Matter How Uncommon As I pointed out to Burg, Gold is a pretty easy name. What about some difficult ones? Burg was ready for me and reeled off a bunch:

• Abbott -- a boat
• Abernathy -- a bear nasty
• Blatt -- splatt
• Chandler -- channel
• Doyle -- boil
• Floyd -- fight
• Kaiser -- roll
• Pearce -- Pears

Thus, to remember the names you want to recall:

• repeat the names in your conversation. Make use of the person's name on every chance you get.
• rehearse the names when you're alone.
• use the names when you say "good-bye."
• review new names at the end of the day.

Support

• get a list of names and study it before you meet people. Giving many speeches as I do, I have found this technique invaluable. You already have the names in advance of meeting key people. Your job when you meet them is much easier: associating the name and the person.
• stick with someone who knows people at the function. Not only have him introduce you but have him provide you with details about them, details you can fix in your memory.
• record the names afterwards. Put them on a tape recorder or in a log book with pertinent details about them. Writing down information gives you not only an external support system but also another opportunity to fix the name and further details about the person in your memory.
• create a back-up card file. But don't just file the card.

It's Up To You

If you don't take this lesson to heart, you had better be awfully good at what you do so that people will overlook your memory failings. Like Marilyn Monroe. Billy Wilder, her director in several films, tells the story of how in a single scene she had to say just a single three-word sentence, "Where's the bourbon?", as she rummaged through some drawers.

The line came out "Where the whiskey?", "Where's the bonbon?", "Where the bottle?", but the patient Wilder rationalized this exasperating behavior by saying, "She's not a parrot. Anyone can remember lines, but it takes a real artist to come on the set and not know her lines and give the performance she did."

Unless you have that kind of talent and work with people this accommodating, you had better get these materials and put their sensible guidelines to work for you.